The spectre of divorce probably raises negative feelings in most people. Marriage is held up as the ultimate goal to pursue, not just an institution but a sacred and eternal vow between two people in love.
Really, married people can fall out of love, and sometimes marriage feels more like a daily trap than a beatific state. There are all kinds of marriages, and when people feel unhappy or endangered in them, divorce can be the right choice.
Thankfully, divorces don’t have to be long, expensive, and combative.
Collaborative Divorce
More divorced people are turning to collaborative legal services to get the best overall outcome for themselves and their children. A collaborative lawyer aims to get the optimal result for their client, including what’s best for the kids, rather than just maximizing the asset split and custody.
People do need stable finances and somewhere comfortable and safe to live, and a collaborative lawyer will advocate for their client’s financial rights. Aggressively, if need be. These things are of tremendous importance, but they are pieces of a puzzle, and others include factors that matter most to kids.
A lawyer with a collaborative, holistic bent will pursue all these higher goals at once rather than proceeding with a narrow focus on just the money and custody. Where will the children sleep during the week and on weekends?
Who will pick them up from school and drive them to music class or their after-school activity? Look for a Toronto or Mississauga divorce lawyer who focuses on collaboration, sees the larger picture, and makes it all work.
Avoid Court, if Possible
While Hollywood movies promote the idea of divorce unfolding dramatically in a courtroom, collaborative lawyers help you avoid going to trial, which can drain money and be needlessly prolonged and painful. It’s much better to resolve things quickly and efficiently, to everybody’s satisfaction, outside of court.
While you can’t control how the person you’re divorcing will react to the proceedings, you can set the tone on a positive note early on and try to keep things cordial, respectful, and practical. Hopefully, when the other party sees that you’re trying to be reasonable and amenable, they’ll follow suit.
A Future as Co-Parents
Ideally, the two people getting divorced can process their feelings alone to the point they genuinely wish each other well and are excited to be devoted parents, even if apart. After all, presumably, they shared some great times together, and the original bond that formed isn’t totally dead or stained.
This may depend on the nature of how things ended. Maybe it’s hard to work together in the immediate aftermath of the marriage’s end, but it will become easier over time. Ideally, the divorced couple finds the optimal path from the get-go and immediately embraces their future as co-parents.
Marriages are unique, and divorces can be, too. If both parties are happier and feel better outside their marriage, it’ll be nothing like the doom and gloom sometimes depicted in Hollywood movies and TV shows. Get a collaborative lawyer and try to be respectful and cordial with your ex, and you’ll both be better off.
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